Life lessons for my baby dragon

Note #1. Was it a good idea to bring me into this world?

*this is part of NaNoWriMo 2024 challenge I decided to sign up for. My English writing is not perfect, but only such practice will make it better, so I am publishing it as it is*

As long as I remember myself, I always wanted to write some words of wisdom for my future child. Probably because me, myself was craving this type of book, where I could learn what to do with my life, when and how. I was “writing” such notes in my head to my future child at all possible ages: you would see me doing it, when I was 20, 22, 25, 30, and 33, etc..

And here we are: I am 35 years old and you, my baby dragon, will appear in this world in a couple of days or weeks. So it’s time to write those words of wisdom. And let’s be honest - I do not know if you will ever read this, or if you will be even ever interested in reading it. So first of all, I am writing it for the world. And secondly, for myself.

Note 1
When you experience difficult periods in your life, you may ask yourself: Why was I even born? Why did my mom decide to bring me into this hard, cruel, and challenging world, where I must fight for survival, fight for myself, cry, feel depressed, forced to make difficult decisions? When I refer to such periods, I am not talking about a fleeting five minutes of a blue mood you might experience while commuting on a (spaceship?) bus and listening to something sad in your headphones (like “Karma Police” by Radiohead). I am talking about prolonged periods of stress or hardship: weeks, months, years. As your mother, I truly hope this will never happen in your life, but I can’t buy you an insurance against it, no one can.. So if it does happen, you can always refer back to this note.

It’s November 2024, and here’s what is happening in this world in a nutshell.

It is the 981st day of the russian-Ukrainian war - home country of your parents, Ukraine, is being invaded for almost 1000 days by their land neighbor - russia (yes, we spell it with a small letter, because this country currently doesn’t deserve a capital letter) and some territories are occupied for the same amount of days. It’s a painful period of our lives I never expected to experience. And by the way it’s a biggest war since World War II, which we thought would never happen again.

There are a couple of dozen other cruel wars and human atrocities happening in the world too right now - mainly in Africa, Asia, and Middle East.

In five days, the new president of the United States will be announced. It seems there has never been a harder choice to make: electing a crazy Republican who has a Hitler-like rhetoric (Link), and may lead the world into the darkest times since World War II (or may not, because he is so crazy you can’t predict what to expect from him) OR electing a representative of the weak Democrats, who definitely doesn’t have a Hitler-ish rhetoric, but may continue the weak politics of the Democrats that are also leading this world to hell, just in a much softer and steadier way (my personal humble opinion). For the reference, in 2024 USA is a global leader and election choice of USA voters significantly impacts the destiny of many people in other countries in the world.

For about a year and a half, ChatGPT and the world of real AI have entered the world. Even Bill Gates has said it’s exciting and scary for humanity at the same time. Exciting because we can use it to our benefit (to cure diseases faster, access information more quickly and in a more digestible way, build spaceships quicker, and maybe even save our planet (from the climate crisis, yes, it’s a next point on my list); scary because AI algorithms develop independently, meaning we can no longer control what is in or out, and how intelligent it can become (As of November 2024, AI is still pretty erroneous and dumb; but maybe it’s just playing that role for us, humans, to trick us - this is a joke, btw). But what I know is that many white collars around the world have lost their jobs as companies hope to operate with less people and rely more on AI. So these desperate people are searching for white-collar jobs for 3, 6, or even 12 months; some of them end up with blue-collar jobs. This is the ridiculous reality we live in - AI is very good at some of white-collar tasks, but it’s still far from doing the good job on majority of blue collars job. As one person said - I need AI to take care of my chores, not to paint pictures instead of me. So who knows - maybe we all will be blue-collar workers one day (and yes, probably in 20 years, when you read this, the terms "white-collar" and "blue-collar" will seem like ancient words to you).

Ok, next disastrous thing happening in the world right now - the climate crisis. Some people ignore it, while others claim it’s not real - just the imagination of overly concerned scientists. But all I can say is that in recent years, we have witnessed more floods and disastrous hurricanes (recent ones in Silesia, Poland; Valencia, Spain; and Florida, USA) and a complete revamp of the seasons and their attributes on all the continents, including the places I’ve lived - my hometown of Nizhyn in Ukraine was always covered in snow from November until mid-March during my school years, but now you might only see snow on the streets once in a blue moon.

But let’s talk about some good things too. You are being born into a world where many tasks have never been easier.

You don’t need to wash your clothes or dishes by hand (as I did until I was 25)—you have a washing machine and a dishwasher.

You can order food to your doorstep in just 30 minutes—you won’t have to grow it, store it, and then cook it like my family did during my childhood.

You don’t need to get off the sofa to find a job, perform your work, and earn decent money (if you are in a white-collar role, of course) - in my early 20s, I still went to the office five days a week.

And we have the best (and worst) invention in our hands - a smartphone with internet access! I can video call someone on the other side of the planet in a matter of seconds; I can chat with friends around the world and get instant replies; I can order food, a taxi, a nanny, cleaning services, or whatever I need in just a few taps. I can read or listen to any book, any music, or watch any movie with just a couple of touches on my screen. When I was 15 years old, I never could have imagined this reality in my wildest dreams—I communicated with friends from other Ukrainian towns by writing letters by hand, sending them via post, and waiting for their hand-written responses sent back by post (which took around two weeks).

As you can see, good and bad things happen in the world, and we don’t know what the next turn will be. When I was born, my family’s life was stable and very predictable. My mom and dad lived in the Soviet Union and thought it would exist forever; they had a small but decent apartment, a car, and a summer house. They both had jobs and a decent monthly income. So I guess they never imagined they were bringing me into a world where it would be hard for me to live. But that’s exactly what happened - the Soviet Union collapsed two years after my birth, my parents lost their stable jobs, and then their health (when I was nine), so we became poor, sold the car, and survived from one day to the next. And when I was 12, sometimes my dreams were as simple as wanting to have sausage for lunch and a banana for dessert (which happened barely once a month during those difficult years). And there were piles and piles of episodes like this (which maybe I will share in later notes) when I asked God, the universe, and myself why I was even born into this world. And let’s not even mention the war that erupted in 2022.

I have asked myself multiple times: Are we sure we want to bring new life into a world like this? But here’s the thing, baby dragon: we never know what comes next. My parents gave me life in their stable world, and it turned out to be disastrously unstable. I am bringing you into a world that seems equally unstable, but maybe it will turn out right. Or maybe not. But anyway, I was given life, so I am giving life. That would be my simple explanation.

And yes, there is a less practical and brighter explanation too. In difficult moments, you may ask yourself: Why am I going through this? Why do I have this shitty life? What is the purpose in the end?

But then, there will be millions of moments when you won’t have such hard questions - moments when you are fully immersed in the beauty of living in this world.

You will ride a bike one day, the wind blowing through your hair, and you will simply be happy.

You will share a meal with friends or family, laughing together, fully immersed in the warm atmosphere of the place and time you are in.

You will travel to a new country, hike up a hill, and be awed by the beauty of nature around you. You will marvel at the incredible sky colored by a sunset, and you will feel excitement, motivation, joy, and/or happiness.

You will be happy when someone dear hugs you, when you run with your dog, when you sip your morning coffee and take the time to savor its taste instead of rushing through the day.

There will be countless times when you enjoy your work and find yourself in a state of flow, witnessing how your actions change a small part of this world.

You will relish your first experiences, your first this, and your first that.

In these millions of moments, you will live your life without ever thinking to ask the question, “Why was I even born into this world?”.

And this is why we bring you to this world - to overcome the worst moments in order to cherish the best moments.

P.s.: And btw, only those traumatized by hard experiences, like me, have asked such tough questions. So from the depths of my heart, I truly hope you will never have to ask yourself such questions. That’s why, as I mentioned, these notes may be more for me in the past than for you in the future.